at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
