So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
