and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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