NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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