Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
