dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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