If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
