the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
