I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
