after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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