I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
