saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize