I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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