Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
