I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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