is your mom at the bar?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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