Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
