No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
