i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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