She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
