She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
