I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
