our cab driver is having phone sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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