yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
