Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
