Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
third nipple confirmed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
