Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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