its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
