ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
