I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
