Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
