Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I bet he comes in French.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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