I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
