Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Brb crying the tears of my youth
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
