Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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