I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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