they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
