so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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