is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
