I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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