I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
