Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize