Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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