I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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