Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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