There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
