Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't think brook has ever known best
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
