oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
