ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
