Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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