I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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