Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
