Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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