I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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