I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
