but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
