I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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