I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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