can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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