i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
