I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize