I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sext me about skeletons
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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