Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
