I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
