Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
