jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
